It's 2am and I can't sleep. I never really post about the serious stuff in my life. I keep it close to my chest and while that's fine it also tends to make me isolated. So, what am I contemplating? The canceling of my blog account. Not a big deal, right? I have spent over 20 years in this industry designing for stores, companies, catalogs, created my own lines with my artwork, and created product for others. I love this industry. I love the creativity, and the people. I love writing and sharing info on my blog about the techniques that I love so that you can fall in love with them too, but at this time in my life I am needing to say goodbye.
My husband is dying. I am his full-time care-provider. This was no surprise for us because I knew when I married him, we would wind up here one day. He has Huntington's Disease. An awful disease that slowly robs you of your ability to walk, talk, and eventually breathe on your own. It's harder than I ever imagined. I never thought when we got here, I would be disabled and crippled by 3 rare disorders that I became diagnosed with during our marriage. It's debilitating and all I can do to manage the courage to get through each day. I didn't think I would still be caring full time for our adult son with Autism & seizures. I NEVER thought I would be so sick and so taxed physically, mentally and emotionally that I would have to say goodbye to the industry that has had my heart for over 20 years. In never dawned on me that I would have to walk away. My heart literally aches.
I'm not sure why I am sharing it all, but I know I feel a sense of wanting to say a formal goodbye. Goodbyes while brief in their moment also mark an ending and perhaps, I wanted to feel like I completed something, and it meant something. This may only be read by even a few people at that, but know that I appreciate you for being witness to my farewell. Someday I hope to return, but one can't predict the change in your heart after losing a piece of one's soul, and I have no idea how I will be after my soulmate is gone.
I know that after teaching hundreds at conventions, designing displays for countless stores, helping privately tons of crafters find their voice and teaching them techniques, beautiful souls giving me my chance to shine, releasing my own artwork and designing fun new product to be sold, and of course sharing the part of myself that is so passionate about making art I must say to this industry and my fellow crafters . . . my cup runnith over.
Thanks, you for the open hearts who listened to what I had to say, thank you for the over 90,000 page views on my blog and those who interacted, and finally thank you to the crafters who supported me on my journey. I truly love you all and I hope you continue to find so much joy in making and creating.
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